Jay is a good listener and easy to communicate with. He is generous in voicing his own struggles, which makes it so much easier to confront my own. - E.M., Florida
Individual Support & Counseling
ACCORDING TO INTERVIEWS, RESEARCH STUDIES, and surveys of men and women bereaved by the suicide of a loved one, the single most valuable resource they discovered was one-to-one interaction with another suicide loss survivor. In several surveys, more than 90% also reported the need for individual counseling or therapy from a mental health professional. The ideal grief counselor, they noted, would be one with personal experience of suicide loss, who could understand the dimensions of their suffering from the inside out.
Many participants expressed a desire for ongoing professional support from at least 6 months to 2 years after the death of their loved one, while others reported it took from 3 to 5 years before difficulties associated with acute grief began to subside. Over 60% reported significant levels of functional impairment in their daily life or work.
Ironically, although close friends and family were primary sources of profound caring and social support, many of the bereaved also experienced challenges in speaking openly about suicide, handling difficult questions, defending themselves from stigma, or sharing the full magnitude of their grief. For many, counseling helped bridge the gap between perceived need and support received.
Many participants expressed a desire for ongoing professional support from at least 6 months to 2 years after the death of their loved one, while others reported it took from 3 to 5 years before difficulties associated with acute grief began to subside. Over 60% reported significant levels of functional impairment in their daily life or work.
Ironically, although close friends and family were primary sources of profound caring and social support, many of the bereaved also experienced challenges in speaking openly about suicide, handling difficult questions, defending themselves from stigma, or sharing the full magnitude of their grief. For many, counseling helped bridge the gap between perceived need and support received.
DESPITE GENERALIZATIONS found in traditional grief literature, every person's grief is unique. This is true, no matter how much we all have in common. Why? Because you are unique, the person you lost was unique, and the relationship between the two of you was (and is) unique. This means, for one thing, there are no universal "stages" or "phases" or even "tasks" that you must complete.
Sadly, it also means the ways in which you explain or contain your grief, the intensity and frequency of your emotions and reactions, and the length of time it takes for you to mourn this catastrophic loss will often conflict with the expectations and timetables of those around you, even your closest friends and family. These inevitable disconnects can unnecessarily magnify your suffering and isolation. |
It is important, therefore, to have at least one safe place where you don't have to pretend or defend yourself; where you can reveal or conceal as much or as little as you want; where you can say anything out loud, without judgment; where you can explore all the hard questions that surround this terrible new reality, including the Why Question.
MY DEFAULT THERAPEUTIC ORIENTATION for on-to-one grief support is based on the principles of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), although, depending on your needs, I may also suggest practices derived from Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) or Poetry Therapy. I'm happy to explain any or all of these modalities in more detail. Just ask.
Of course, I can work with you (and your family) to conduct a personal “biopsychosocial autopsy” of the suicide of your loved one, to construct a coherent narrative of what led up to their death, even to create a written memorial honoring the unique beauty and complexity of their life, as I did in my memoir about my daughter. To get an idea of how this process might work, take a look at my presentation “The Why Question & the Healing Power of Narrative” for suicide loss survivors and mental health professionals, on ResearchGate.
MY DEFAULT THERAPEUTIC ORIENTATION for on-to-one grief support is based on the principles of Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), although, depending on your needs, I may also suggest practices derived from Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) or Poetry Therapy. I'm happy to explain any or all of these modalities in more detail. Just ask.
Of course, I can work with you (and your family) to conduct a personal “biopsychosocial autopsy” of the suicide of your loved one, to construct a coherent narrative of what led up to their death, even to create a written memorial honoring the unique beauty and complexity of their life, as I did in my memoir about my daughter. To get an idea of how this process might work, take a look at my presentation “The Why Question & the Healing Power of Narrative” for suicide loss survivors and mental health professionals, on ResearchGate.
THE BEST WAY TO GET STARTED is by scheduling a free 20-30 min. phone conversation. If we decide to work together, I offer 60-minute sessions (in person, by phone or Zoom) on a sliding scale from $40-95/hr, depending on your income. Let's talk.